The
past 7 weeks have been the craziest, happiest, scariest, and
most rewarding weeks of my life. When we went to our care plan meeting the
first week of February I left feeling more scared then I ever have in my entire
life. The amount of shots I would be doing the next 8 weeks where far more then
I ever expected ( BTW I am a major whimp when it comes to needles ).
My
1st day of injections I felt this enormous amount of fear lifted off my chest (
I know that was my dad's doing ). My injections have been a little painful and
my bum has became a pin cushion, but I feel I have handled them much better
then expected.
Emotionally
I have struggled a little. I have kept my emotions pretty private mainly
because I can't even imagine Deja and Lucas' emotional roller-coaster they have
had to ride through this journey.
Transfer
day was the hardest day since this journey began. It was our 1st
heartache as a family in the journey. Hearing all but 2 of the embryos
had fallen apart was heartbreaking, but seeing the pure disappointment in
my sisters face absolutely broke my heart. When Derek and I had our moment to
discuss things we had no doubt in our mind we need to implant both embryos to
better the odds for Deja, Lucas, and our entire family.
The
past 10 days have been SO scary. I have felt so much faith for the most part,
but have also had my few minutes of doubt. My favorite part of the past
10 days though have been the amazing amount of support I have received. I
couldn't have done my end of the deal this far without all of you. My
eyes have been opened once again how truly blessed our family is.
Tomorrow.......
well I don't really know how to put into words how I'm feeling, but I do
know I have prayed, pleaded, and begged God for a positive day for us all tomorrow,
but most of all for a tiny miracle for Deja and Lucas.
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